I’d never truly believed in PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder until I read the recent article about Glory Holes by my colleague at Weird World Wire Josh Green. You can read the article here, but the long and short of it is that New York is suggesting Glory Holes as a way to help fight coronavirus. Certainly a novel approach.
But the article did more than advise on my sexual conduct in a post-COVID-19 world. It also took me back to a dark winter night in Bucharest many many years ago.
Before we get onto my penis based nightmares, here is a short intro to glory holes. Essentially if you do not know what one is, you are probably on the wrong website, but just to be devil’s advocate it is a hole in a toilet cubicle where a gentleman may put his “member” for, usually at least another gentleman to then pleasure.
To me, I had always assumed that much like the “Dirty Sanchez,” “Golden Monging,” and, of course, “Wolfbagging” were, in fact urban myths and didn’t actually exist. Truth, as is often the case, is stranger than fiction.
I’d arrived at the main train station in Bucharest with a large bunch of people on a night train from another country bags in hand from where we all headed to the 24 hours McDonald’s to make a base. If you have never been to Gare du Nord station in Bucharest late at night, it would be fair to say it is a little bit dodgy. Lots of beggars, alcoholics, drug addicts and ladies (both with and without penises) practicing the world’s oldest profession. It was about 3 am and seeing as I had been living largely off of vodka for the proceeding few days found myself “caught short,” I needed the bathroom, and I needed it right away.
The public facilities at Gare du Nord require you to give a few Shekels to the lady attending who will then provide paper and a semblance of security. On my trying to enter at 3 am said lady was forcefully trying to block my entrance whilst I forcibly tried to reason with her without shitting my pants. The victory was eventually gained and ran past the few trench coat wearing gentlemen to run into one of the stalls for my stools. I duly sat on my throne, only just making it. Initially I was filled with the kind of joy that can only be provided by a close encounter of the turd kind, but joy was short lived.
It was from here that I decided it was time to rummage around for either toilet paper, or at worst some Moldovan money to clean my bum with. On rummaging I looked to my right and saw a hole. My first thoughts being “why you have a hole in a toilet’ I then looked to my right and noticed the same thing. I then heard grumbles and foot-tapping come from the next cabin and, in a very “eureka” moment decided it might be time to either leave or accept the fate of a throbbing cock interrupting my small shitting party.
I went for the former and left initially with the plans to never return to the said toilet, or of sharing this story with people.
Later that day, I was forced to return to the train station, and with it being mid-day decided it indeed did need to be checked out again. On further inspection whilst the holes obviously still existed, they had now been covered in black tape. It was at this time I realized that I had been in these toilets many times, but had probably merely not noticed the unassuming black tape on the walls.
Fast forward to early this year when I was with a group of people, including two Romanians, a mother and daughter in fact, with the mother not speaking English. Beers were drunk and at some point I decided it was time to share my story.
Now you know when you start something, realize you shouldn’t have but have no way to stop? This was one of those times. Watching a younger Romanian woman slowly explain what a glory hole was to her mother and watching said mother’s face drop as she simply shook her head in disbelief led me to realize two things. One glory holes are a bit like a ghost, you don’t truly believe in them unless you’ve seen one yourself and that secondly much like ghosts, believe in them, or not some people will still be shit when you tell them a story about them.
Weird World Wire would love to hear your take on Glory Holes? Have you seen any?
