Weird independence movements! We do like a lot of weird things at Weird World Wire, well you know its in the name an all, but we particularly love weird stuff related to countries, be they imaginary, existing, or better still wannabe.
Independence movements are nothing new, we all got to see the Catalans cry, and Scotland trying to hold a referendum every 5 minutes and then there’s the French Canadians! I mean like really?
So, in this article we will concentrate on the weird independence movements of the world, that we at least assume you might not have heard of.
Weird independence movements – 7 of the best!
The whole reason for me even getting the idea to write about weird independence movements was because I have been on a Karate Kid binge. No, not the shit with mini-Will Smith, not Cobra Kai, but Karate Kid 1 and 2. I had completely forgotten Mr Miyagi was from Okinawa and that Okinawa is kinda like a country.
Free Okinawa and Mr Miyagi
Mr Miyagi makes many interesting points during the movies. In one story he retells about how is ancestors brought Karate from China. He also always says he is from Okinawa, not Japan. EVEN when he returns to Okinawa, he talks about Okinawans AND Japanese dying during the war.
Basically the people of Okinawa do not consider themselves Japanese. The Ryukyu Kingdom was fully independent from Japan and China for like ages, until 1609 when it become a vassal state of Japan. During this time it as also kind still a vassal state of China, making it a bit like Korea. They wanted to do their own thing.
In 1879 Japan turned into a prefecture and now its a bit like Wales, people say they are from Okinawa, but it isn’t a real country.
The Ryukyu independence movement (琉球独立運動, Ryūkyū Dokuritsu Undō) or the Republic of the Ryukyus is the group looking to free the area from Japan. Independence is favored by about 20 percent of the population, and China. Which is pretty funny.
If you got here because you were actually looking for weird porn sites click here.
Cornish independence movement
The UK is now made of England (the best bit), Scotland (the many bit), Wales (the forgotten bit) and Northern Ireland (the stolen bit). Back in the day though not only did we have a UNITED IRELAND, nut the Cornish with their own funny language were like a country within the UK.
No one is quite sure when, but at some point we realized this was stupid and they agreed to stop speaking fun and instead make really pasties. Yeah the Cornish pasty is from Cornwall.
There are numerous legal and moral arguments for Cornish Nationalism, but essentially it boys down to this, some people with nothing better to do read a history book and decided to woke and butt-hurt. Being an oppressed nation makes you cool after all.
In 2006 the Commonwealth Games bitch slapped them by saying they were just a country of England. They have some political parties which do shit and even funnier the CornishNational Liberation Army (CNLA). The CNLA once blew up a letterbox. The only good thing they did though was the threaten Jamie Oliver, which was at least funny.
Free Texas Movements
If you’re going to chat weird independence movements then at some point you gotta get to Texas. Good old Texas, where everything is bigger, even the assholes, as the saying goes.
What people don’t realize about Texas is that they were actually an independent state back in etc day. To cut a long story short, white folk moved en-masse to Mexico and declared independence. You know the whole Lone-Star State crap? That’s where it comes from. Did you know the Cuban flag is based on that of Texas rather than anything to do with communism?
Anyway the Yanks then told them to join the Union, which they did until the American Civil War. You know the one that had nothing AT ALL to do with slavery and was simply about tastes rights.
About 20 percent of Texans favor independence,but also factor in that about 17 percent have passports and even less can read. Much like the Cornish had their own little rebel army, it was not very successful.
Ned Flanders Independence movement
I’m gonna be really lazy on this one and it only makes the list because Flanders is s funny name, because of Ned Flanders of Simpsons fame. It was less funny during World War 1 when millions died there though, to be fair.
Basically Belgium aside from being a bit of a rubbish country full of not only pedo’s but also people that put mayonnaise on chips, also has Dutch speakers. They inhabit Flanders and have been going on for ages about independence within the EU. Like Scotland, or Catalonia, but much, much more boring.
Yeah that was a short one. Screw you Ned Flanders.
Volkstaat means Peoples State
So, Volkstaat literally means peoples state, in actual fact it means shit heads in Africa who want bring back apartheid. Much like people say that Mussolini made the trains run on time and that Hitler built the Autobahns, many a white Safa looks fondly back to the days when the whites ruled the show.
The basic plan of the Volkstaat is to once again steal a part of Africa, white fold live there, speak shit Dutch and let black people still clean their clothes.
Unlike the other weird sessions movements these guys actually kinda have a small town that they own via kind crowdsourcing. Like Let’s Buy An Island, but without humour, a prince, or a lack of racism.
Check out Oriana if you’d like to read about white Afrikaners explaining how they are not racist because black people worked for them during Apartheid.
Why are lists always 7 and not 6, or even 3? Because Google loves quantity of quality, so we will move to scraping the barrel in order to find 2 more entries into the Weirdest independence movements.
West Papua – not a weird independence movement and quite legitimate actually
This one has been included because these guys get shat on from a great height. Technically part of Indonesia, but not Muslim, and ethnically completely different. Shock time the people of West Papua are basically the same as in Papua New Guinea.
Herein lies the problem though, there’s a lot of tribal shit, and lets be honest Papua New Guinea is hardly the benchmark for a great state.
Therefore sadly while the people of West Papua have a genuine reason to not be part of Indonesia and are really heavily oppressed, they can’t get their shit together like the Timorese. West Papua will not be gaining independence any time soon. They do though have a cool flag and that is good with us.
Ans what to finish with for our 7 weird independence movements? We will drop some honorable mentions here, Corsica used to be bad ass, as did Gaddafi funded ETA in the Basque region, which leads us to least but my no means least Stifflers mum.
MILF MILF MILF – The Moro Islamic Liberation Front
Located in the Philippines, not actually that weird, but actually pretty damned bad ass. The one part of the Philippines with a Muslims majority, so naturally they want their own homeland, I mean why not.
There have been accusations of ties with Al Qaeda, ISIS and pretty much everyone who is a bit naughty.
We’re going to ignore the politics of this one, assuming you are not here for that and concentrate on the damned obvious. Has no one got to the boss and said, “hey man, I know the name used to work, but now its an acronym for mum i’d like to fuck”.
There was actually a similar incident in Eritrea whereby ELF (Eritrean Liberation Front) added a P, just so they didn’t look like ass-hats (Eritrean Peoples Liberation Front).
And that concludes our 7 weird independence movements, there’s nowt as queer as folk as they do say!
